Pursuing Dreams, When My Son Left Home
For years now, my son Hayden’s dream was to move to California. I was all for it. I’ve always been supportive of his dreams and encouraging him to live them and chase them. But then his dream came true – he had been asked to come to Palm Springs to pursue his dream and now he’s gone and my heart and home feel a little empty.
It all started about six weeks ago, when he was asked to send a collection of his recent fashion designs to a fellow up and coming fashion designer, Father Akki, who is known for his Urban Street Wear, for a runway show during Style Fashion Week in Palm Springs. Initially, I didn’t even think about the impact this would have. He didn’t seem too excited at first, but you have to know my son, Hayden, he doesn’t generally get too outwardly enthused about things. I was super excited thinking this is the break he needs to get his foot in the door of this super competitive industry.
A few weeks after the show, Hayden and Father Akki had been communicating more about collaborating on future designs. Their sense of style and fashion just seem to mix and blend well. The talk continued and heard bits and pieces but didn’t think really anything of it.
A few days later, my husband told me that his ticket had been purchased. I immediately started to feel sad. The tears started to flow. I was thinking, this is happening too fast. Wait, I’m not ready. He’s not ready. He’s nineteen years old. He’s my baby. He can’t leave. It was a crazy week. This talk of leaving home and pursuing dreams.
I was thinking, this is happening too fast. Wait, I’m not ready. He’s not ready. He’s nineteen years old. He’s my baby. He can’t leave. It was a crazy week. This talk of leaving home and pursuing dreams.
My thoughts were to question this big move. To tell him to slow down, question the whole process. It’s 1,800 miles away from home. But then I got to thinking about how adventurous I was when I was young. And then I recalled when I picked up and moved to the west coast when I was 19 years old. He is just like me, a risk taker. He’s pursuing his dreams, his life, and his passion and who I am to stop him.
Tuesday, April 24 Hayden left for Palm Springs. It was a day of bittersweet emotions. I couldn’t even bear to go to the airport. I said my goodbye’s at home as my husband braved the drive to the airport with him. I stood at the window waiting for him to drive away and then Hayden appeared once more. I asked him if had forgot something, and he stated, “Yeah, just another hug”. My dear son just held onto me and we cried, I didn’t want to let him go.
This week has been awkward, tears have come out of nowhere and I am still feeling a loss and an emptiness. I haven’t been able to focus and work as much and my heart aches. There’s just something about it when your young adult children leave the nest. I hope that each day gets better and over time we will all adjust.
I wish my son, Hayden all the best in his exciting adventures in California. I can’t wait to hop a plane and visit him soon and hear about everything he will experience while pursuing dreams. xoxoxo – Mom